Day Two of the Vermont Women in Higher Education Conference. I could definitely extend this experience into three or four days – the setting, the Lake Morey Resort, is wonderful!
I could write plenty about each workshop, presenter, meal, and conversation, but I would do better by diving deeper into one thread of a speech that is sticking in my craw.
A prominent speaker at the event – I won’t identify her because I don’t want to make this personal – said that we (“we” being women) need to always be aware of our appearance. I wondered: do the clothes make the woman?
Maybe this hurt so much because, while I’m normally dressed in pinstripes and shiny shoes at work, today I was wearing a button down shirt and JEANS. Ouch. There were 2-3 other women in jeans at the conference, but I took it personally. The speaker is an important and accomplished person. I blushed. I recoiled.
Now, on the one hand, I agree with the speaker. Men can wear suits and ties and that covers the bases just fine. For women, the “uniform” just isn’t that straightforward, so what we wear is noticeable, whether it’s a dress or pantsuit or scarf or vest or, god forbid, jeans.
On the other hand, I want my skills to substantiate themselves, regardless of my clothing choices, what my hair is doing today, whether a pimple appeared overnight, or whether I’m 5’6″ or 5″8. I am kind, generous, intelligent, and highly capable, no matter what I’m wearing.
So why does the comment from the speaker hurt so much? Maybe because I know it’s true? Maybe because it’s not at all true? Maybe because I’m confused about whether or not it’s true for me.
A colleague pointed out that the speaker was talking about what has worked for her on her path. That’s why I love the VWHE Conference: it opens up new questions and ways of thinking.
Photo credit: Vestman